Late night after the farewell day at office, a message notification popped on my phone.
And this is what I found:
“Dear Bu Putri,
my manager, my boss, my inspiring mentor.
I know It has only been less than 6 months we know each other. I really am thankful for your presence in the company. At least I have someone I admire. Your hardwork and dedication never fail making me wonder, how could be someone who fights for her own battle can still manage all the endless works.
I guess I will never know this when I know nothing about your battle.
As I look at you, honestly, I’m starting to realise the pain my mom had been through about 8 years ago when I was 15, trying to fight breast cancer, stage 3.
But what makes me shiver right now is how I just realise that my mom actually managed to stay calm, never burden me with ‘what if she didn’t make it’, ‘what if she left me, dad and my 2 little brothers’, and so on.
I used to be quite ignorant about her condition. Not because I don’t want to know, but I think because I’m afraid to.
I kept my facade cool, not bother asking how was she, instead I kept it all to myself, praying to God so my mom won’t leave me and my brother behind.
I want you to know that, it might as well happen to your surrounding. Someone will pray quietly for your behalf. Someone who will stand by your side for you. We’ve both suffering from physical and mental pain. The thought of losing someone at anytime is always there. But the small smile from you, the soft ‘everything’s gonna be fine’ encourage us to do more than we should be, to pray harder than ever.
As much as I like you being my boss, I am so relieved that you finally make up your mind to resign. I’ve seen you not in your good condition lately. Like I’ve said before, I didn’t know your own battle. I will never know what this company pressure you.
As for myself, day after day, I’m starting to feel the weight the company given to me. I am actually in the state ‘I don’t want waking up to work’. I wake up tired, work tired, go to bed tired. My surrounding does affect me. I feel my co-workers not in their best performance either, and just getting worse day to day.
Oh well, this is supposed to be a thank-you letter, but turns out to be a curhat letter.
Anyway, Bu, it’s a privilege to work with you. I love working with you. Thank you for standing by righteousness, justice and truth. Thank you for showing me how bold and brave you are. Please bear every mistake I made, this is like my first time working ever.
Congratulation on finally removing all the situation that will threaten your well being. You have a right to leave and create a safer space for yourself.
I hope I didn’t judged/offended you in anyway, because I have no intention on that at all.
Be safe, be healthy, be happy, Ibu warrior!
p.s. Please keep writing on your blog, I enjoy reading your blog!
another p.s. I believe a warrior is not someone who always win, but someone who always fight.”
Of course I sent her a beautiful reply. But the value was incomparable to this one.
As I switched off my phone that night, I got reminded again that my battle is not merely serve my purpose only — yet it affects others more that I can imagine.
Now I understand that I fight for them too.